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This is really a small piece of a bigger story. The man whose name is in the title of the blog has been awarded the title of the People’s Choice for his contribution to the cannabis industry and the cannabis community.
Good evening, America. In today’s Cannabis Union District speech, brought to you by I71 delivery brand NFUZD, I have decided to take an hour of your time to brag about what I have accomplished since the Kremlin bots elected me lord. I, the Great Golden Bull, First Chosen of Moloch, Prince of Aether Power, also threaten my many political rivals with imprisonment for the wild screams and cries of my bloodthirsty public….. Uh… Proponents. Yeah, lock her up! You will forget that I would have Mexico pay for a wall that I and my contractor friends will certainly not get rich from, while destroying important infrastructure like Puerto Rico. But you don’t have to worry about that, honey, you’ll get a cool amount of taxes this year on all those refunds plus interest after the audits. Ew! You can all buy a new air conditioner to go along with the fake news about global warming this summer, and pawn it off on recipes for little Susie in a few years, because we’re going to have Obummercare stripped down to his underwear. That’s it, lock him up! Lock them all up! Oh, I love you guys. Sigh. Of course I wouldn’t say no to another Pactavis syrup now. NFUZD links clothing to cannabis – you can buy t-shirts or hats like the handsome gentleman below and choose cannabis-related gifts! The menu on their website is limited to food, but they have flowers – check out their Instagram – and the contact information is straightforward. So a while back, people started mixing codeine cough syrup with soda, which they called a fasting drink. I think you got so tired of leaning on things. Also popularized in rap under the name Purple Drank, again very simple. Of course, codeine is an opioid and is addictive. In response, the cannabis community created Canna-Lean, a potent cannabis-infused syrup designed to get you high, so you too can experience the pleasures of lean. I poured a full 2 ounces (200mg) of Pactavis into my Coke and drank it. Just over an hour later, the gentleman was set on fire. The experience was almost psychedelic and quite euphoric, which is just as well, because I don’t know how I would have gotten through Bright otherwise. Will Smith is clearly baffled by the fact that Rona dumped him while he was playing wireless cricket, and Jacoby the Orc is just an oozing, unsympathetic mess, too sad to die and too boring to live. The beautiful and intricate Los Angeles landscape, divided by Tolkien’s views, is perhaps the most interesting character in the film and pairs very well with Sativa’s colorful rush, which lasted just over two hours.
Hot. So do I. WHO SAID THAT? 
Oh, that’s just Pactavis, Randy. And he has some good points. NFUZD also provided me with 8 ounces (75mg) of Strawberry Grenade Lemonade and 35mg of Unicorn Pop, along with an eighth of Super Lemon Haze Blossom – all part of their December Holi-Haze Box promotion. 35 mg is not enough for me, so I combined the two medications. The lemonade was quite sweet, and I’m pretty sure I detected some hibiscus in it, as well as a hint of cannabis. The Unicorn Pop is a little ball that looks like Fruity Pebbles on a lollipop stick – I just ripped it off – and it had a slight marijuana flavor too. The combination of these two substances had a powerful indica effect that caused my eyelids to droop after an hour and I passed out shortly after. I woke up with a sweet tooth and a strong high that lured me to bed, but I left quickly. 
Super Lemon Haze by NFUZD is a beautiful flower with light green buds that are covered in orange hairs and tiny trichomes. The nose is pronounced, deliciously lemony. My new zinc alloy coffee grinder from Apothecarry has taken the big bumps quickly. The smoke is a little harsh and lacks flavor, but the Buzz is a real day product. A nervous, concentrated, aggravated mood, plus a break from the constant noise of unholy creatures bound into my brain by mad druids, my revenge for intruding into their sacred forest on Blood Moon night when I was a pretentious young merchant’s son? Yes, please. I can do crazy things with these flowers, and by crazy I mean revenge, of course. Sweet, sweet revenge. All of them. Yes. Oh, you’re still here? Awkward. 
The gentleman was very happy with his gifts, especially Pactavis, which is also available in a 400 mg bottle, if you’re feeling extra cool. Now, back to my revenge plate…..
